Bulls!

Well folks, we did it! We got ourselves some cows.

Generic cows, that is, as in bovines. Not actual female cows. We answered the add for beef cattle feeder calves, the cheapest price we could find (not cheap) and Daddy and Ellie and Seppi made a day of it to go pick them out and pick them up.

Yessir! Them’s real, live bull calves in there.

There’s an old adage that says something like: “You get what you pay for.” That holds true for these guys. Nothing wrong whatsoever with their breeding and lineage and form. Their sire was a registered Highland bull, and their mother was some combination of Highland-Angus, both respectable beef breeds. They favor the highland side, short, stocky, thick limbed with broad hooves and shaggy brown coats. One is 5 months old, the other 7 months old, which means they should be ready to butcher sometime in October of 2025. Highlanders are hardy, hands-off cattle that do well on pasture with minimal input.

The problem is that they were raised hands-off on pasture with minimal input and were still intact. So, not used to humans whatsoever, not used to electric fence, and not castrated.

Can we say, just a bit feisty?

One way or the other we got them in the trailer and drove them home.

I guessed the smaller one (Angus) was about 200 Lbs, and the bigger one (Fergus) was north of 300. We stopped at the farm store and got a medium bander and castrating bands (the small one we used for the sheep was clearly not going to be adequate). We considered getting the large bander and the large bands, but that was nearly $140 for the set. We got the medium size and hoped they would work.

Ellie decided at this point: “Can you drop me off at home? I am done being a farmer-girl for today.”

Seppi: “But I am not, right? I am not done being a farmer-man!”

So Daddy and Seppi were left to tackle these two boys alone. Really, all Seppi could safely do was watch from a safe distance and provide moral support and an unending stream of questions.

First step was to get them haltered. Thankfully, Kathleen’s Dad had given us a box of calf/cow supplies, including several halters, and they saved our bacon now. A haltered calf is much easier to deal with than an unhaltered calf. I climbed into the trailer with them, where there was no room for them to run and wrestled them into their halters, one at a time.

I used the choke halter for Fergus, hoping it would make him a little more docile. Unfortunately, it had quite the opposite effect. In true Highlander fashion his response to this attempt at coercion was “—- You!”

All he did was alternate between pulling harder and mooing piteously.

While he was doing that, I got Angus hauled over to the corner of the barnyard where I could tie his halter up short to the corner of the cattle panel, and hobble his back leg to the gate. Then he stood still enough and let me get to work. The medium band worked for him. Barely.

Once he was released into the barnyard, it was time to get Fergus lined up.

This involved some complicated rope work drawn from my mountaineering days. Fergus was not on board with any of this, and the more that halter pinched his jaw, they more he mooed and pulled back.

Not even close.

So we had to leave him tied, and drive back to the farm store and spend the $140 for the large bander and bands. But first, I wrestled him down, and replaced the choke halter for a soft halter. I will never use that choke halter again. It does not make them more docile, it makes them angry, and the sound of the chain grinding on their jaws, combined with the sad and painful “Moo’s” just turns my stomach. I want happy cows, not angry cows.

Replacing the halter was ticklish business, because, of course, for a moment he had no halter on. I had to headlock and toss him, and in the process he reared up and slammed my head into the calf panel, but I got the soft halter on him.

Armed with a larger castrater, I hobbled his middle and his right hind leg to the fence, and banded his boy bits. He was not a fan of this operation whatsoever.

But at last we got it done and released them both into the barnyard with some alfalfa hay. No way we were letting them out on pasture until they were trained to the electric fence, and that was not happening at 7 PM on a Thursday evening.